All by Jon Dawson
The first time I was in charge of setting up the tree I had to cram a few dozen issues of Toothpick Collector magazine and a high-heeled shoe under one leg of the stand to keep everything level. One year after removing the tree skirt our oldest daughter thought the dozens of magazines were presents from Santa that we'd missed.
Last week the United States was rattled by a tragedy that sent millions into a panic. It wasn't the humanitarian disasters in Syria, Yemen or Venezuela, nor was it any of the domestic problems involving crime, Wall Street or Kylie Jenner.
What upset, triggered and knotted up so many (to the point that it was covered by all major networks during the evening news) was a commercial about an exercise bike.
When we started having kids, The Wife and I stopped buying gifts for one another and focused on the kids, but we still put a few things in each other's Christmas stockings. Every year I look forward to taking my two Tax Deductions shopping to find a few things for The Wife's Christmas stocking and maybe stumble onto something they'd like for themselves. Our youngest is still into it, but the 15-year-old is becoming a little too cool for school.
I've never really pined for the days of my youth, and I've always looked forward to birthdays. If I understand the concept of birthdays correctly, the goal is to keep having them.
In a matter of days, many Americans will gather to give thanks for their blessings. A few hours after that, many of those same Americans will push, shove and trample their way to holiday savings.
"The scratching sound generated by people not picking up their feet confuses the birds and interrupts their migration to warmer climates for the winter," said Theodore Nugent of the Autobahn Society. "These swans need to be heading south, not looking for love at a Walmart."
Daylight savings time is here, and with it, a controversial proposal from a local mayor.
With long-serving La Grange Mayor Woody Gurley not seeking reelection, two veteran town council members are vying for his job.
Once the court case was settled, Massey was determined to reclaim his spot among the dental supply salesman elite. After a failed attempt to bring Wi-Fi to the Amish and much soul-searching, Massey is now set to open a dental floss recycling facility in the Strabane community of Lenoir County.
Most sane people realize pollution is a problem, but is it really necessary to register a complaint with H.R. because your co-worker (who was born before irony became part of the food pyramid) bought plastic cups for the Halloween party?
The inaugural festival will run from 6 p.m. until 8 p.m.
“Our cotton candy isn't that fake stuff that’s all sugar; ours is made from real cotton.”
For the past 18 months, Burroughs has been a correspondent for Neuse News, although to date the only assignment she's completed was her six-part series on Skittles in December of 2018.
In reality, a couple of us would actually put some effort into the trailer switch, while the others would just lay their hands on the trailer and grunt as if the contractions were mere seconds apart.
To recap, older adults are dying their hair to get rid of gray while young adults are dying their hair so it will appear gray.
